Separation anxiety is the excessive and persistent worry about separation from attachment figures such as parents, caregivers and/or family members. Various epidemiological studies have found 4-5% prevalence of separation anxiety disorder in children and adolescents. The most common age group for separation anxiety to occur is in young children.

Fear, worry and crying during separation from a parent or family member is common amongst most children. However, some children have prolonged sense of fear and worry that does not get better with time and affects their daily functioning, which leads to separation anxiety disorder. These children worry a lot about themselves or parents when they are not together with them. They may have difficulty expressing their worry due to their developmental maturity. Thus, the difficulties may manifest as stomach pains, crying frequently, difficulty sleeping alone, nightmares, poor appetite when parent is not around, clinginess to parent and even school refusal.

Possible Causes of Separation Anxiety

Some possible causes of separation anxiety in children identified by research is parental overprotection and parental intrusiveness. Overprotecting children may lead to limiting their exploration of their world around them and also limiting the exposure to new situations/experiences. If parents help their children too much, they also limit the child’s ability to learn skills function independently. Some children display anxious attachment with emotional dysregulation temperaments that also leads to worsening of anxiety during moments of prolonged separation.

Coping Strategies for Parents and Children

Below are some coping strategies for parents themselves and to help their child manage their separation anxiety.

Parents Coping Strategies:

• Spend quality time with your child doing activities both of you like and enjoy.
• Keeping to promises made is very important to build trust and safety between child and parents/caregivers.
• Practice being apart from your child starting with shorter periods of time and slowly extending the time frame.
• Remain calm and positive when saying goodbye and keep it as short as possible.
• Make plans with your child on what you would do together after the separation period is over.

Children Coping Strategies:

• Children need to hear reassurance from their parents. Verbal reassurances such as “I will be back” provide comfort for the child.
• Provide your child with transparency where you tell your child about your whereabouts.
• Provide the child an outlet of outburst (e.g: soft toys, clay) to help them express their feelings before being separated is also recommended.
• Positive reinforcement is a good way to encourage the positive behaviors during moments of separation.

This article is written by Kavitha Manokaran – IMC’s Senior Clinical Psychologist.

Kavitha works at IMC Camden, IMC Children’s, and IMC Katong.  To book an appointment to see her, please click here; or for enquiries please call (+65 6733 4440) or email the clinics:

Camden: [email protected]

Children: [email protected]

Katong: [email protected]